Finding Destiny
by aphraelsky
Summary: KoBo fic: In a worldof lies and unbearable truths, the hardest thing to do is fight for what you want, and for what you believe in. Knowing that you are running against destiny, will you still try?Will courage and love still remain?Will you still believe


A/N: I don't know about the exact rules at ffn.net 'bout AN's, but I hope you'll forgive me for this one. I don't think I'll put in any more, but this one's pretty necessary, I think.  
  
Well, hi! This is a Koenma-Botan fanfic, from aphraelsky a.k.a. Kristine- chan. I usually stick to drawing, but please bear with me on this one. I really love the pairing—strangely, the obsession still sticks to me even after all these years, and it's one of the dear, predictable things that keep me sane in college (or this sane, at least, which isn't saying much). But I don't wanna bash Ayame, Kurama or Hiei even though they're usually the ones paired off with Koenma or Botan. I'm sorry, but I don't get the other pairings (Everybody's entitled to her own opinion of things, ne?), however, I'll have almost all the characters end up happily, don't worry. The characters will seem more mature in the fic than we see them in the cartoon or in the manga (especially Botan). It begins thirteen years after Yuusuke's arrival, and many changes had happened to the three worlds since then. Plenty of things will be happening still, though, and I will also be bringing up flashbacks and stuff like that. Please review; flames will be accepted gratefully if you tell me reasonable reasons for not liking the fic (hey, I know I ain't perfect or nothin'!), and I'll try to make it better . Just don't flame me for being a KoBo fan—that part cannot be changed at all. I hope you like this story.  
  
Disclaimer: Please don't sue: I wish I owned the characters, but I'm just borrowing them.  
  
Finding Destiny  
By Kristine-Chan/aphraelsky  
  
"It doesn't matter, it never has..."  
Whispers of the night....  
  
"Listen to yourself! I can't believe that it's you who are talking, you  
  
suggesting this outrageous thing!"  
  
Quiet as a breeze yet loud as thunder...  
  
"I don't care." Her voice was silk-wrapped steel. "Onegai....." Her soft  
  
fingers ran through his fiery red mane ever so softly, stroking his inhibitions away.  
  
Baring of souls in the obscured light,  
  
"But what about him? You promised to be his and his alone!" His eyes  
  
met her grey ones, longing, reproach and sadness replete in their greenish  
  
depths.  
  
The blessed moon's guidance allowing quiet wonder,  
  
"What of him?" she shook her head, her short ebony locks swaying with  
  
the wind. "What of his promise to be mine?!! What of my needs... myself??! Kamisama,  
  
you know he has never even touched me in all these years-- three years, Kurama!!" Her  
  
eyes flashed with sudden anger in the faint light, but Kurama thought she never looked  
  
more beautiful. "He does not want me, and I don't want what belongs to another  
  
already!"  
  
At each other, at ourselves in faint luminescence.  
  
"He has been kind to you, and he has loved and befriended me! " he said  
  
passionately, turning away from her resting fisted hands on the balcony's ledge.  
  
His face was masked by the shadows that hid the pain in his eyes. "I can't hurt  
  
him by taking you away!"  
  
So stay your hand from trembling and the tears from your eyes  
  
"He will not be hurt!" she cried desperately as she clung to his arm. "He  
  
will not search for me as desperately as he has done all these years for her! Why  
  
can't you admit what we both know?! He doesn't love me, and never will! Take me away  
  
and let him find her!"Seeing what she said made no effect on his stoic figure, she  
  
loosened his arm and her voice changed, betraying her anger and frustration.  
  
"Fine, have it your way. Leave me here again, like you always do! But things  
  
are a little different now. Do you know what will happen when they find out? Surely  
  
you do; you were the wisest in the Ningenkai before you decided to go away."  
  
He flinched visibly, but still did not move.  
  
She walked around him slowly., tension apparent in her stance."Do you know  
  
what will happen to me? I will be humiliated, thrown out of the palace and sent to the  
  
seventh hell, dead and stripped of this immortality. But maybe not...Koenma is kind;  
  
maybe he will not tell his father what happened.  
  
Maybe he will forgive me, and even raise your son as his own!"  
  
It was then that he looked at her with something akin to wildness in his eyes,  
  
but she drove relentlessly on, voice rising another note.  
  
"But still, he would never inherit the Reikai, because none could hold th  
  
throne who does not carry the hereditary blood of the king of hell. Then, all will  
  
know that he is not Koenma's. He would be terribly, terribly hurt."  
  
"No.." his voice was little more than a whisper, but she could hear it  
  
clearly in the stillness of the night.  
  
"What, you don't have the courage to admit the truth to yourself, Kurama?"  
  
she asked mockingly. "Well, I have, And you know what? Your son will be called a  
  
bastard, scorned more than I would be by all the people. But maybe I  
  
would have given Koenma the true heir by then ; I may even have learned to love him.  
  
He is easy to love; but for you, I would've had my heart broken when I found that he  
  
loves somebody else.."  
  
"Stop..." the pain was clearly evident in his voice now. It cut into her, but she had  
  
to continue, had to make him understand.  
  
"But you know what the hardest part is about all of it, Kurama?" she paused, then  
  
said quietly, in a broken voice,"... That he will never know his father, and you will never  
  
know your son!"  
  
"I SAID STOP!!!" Kurama shouted. Startled and a little afraid, she obeyed, never  
  
having seen him angry before. Light enveloped him, and after it faded, she saw that the  
  
redheaded young man was gone, replaced by his white-haired, amber-eyed youko form.  
  
He had on the wings that he formed with his plants. His jaw was set and his eyes blazed.  
  
"That will never happen!" he said, quiet menace in his voice. "Never!"  
  
"Then take me with you!" she cried, throwing her arms around him. "I'm  
  
so tired of all this! I deserve to be loved, too! Koenma...he has been such a good friend  
  
to me, but I love you. Let him find his love while I keep you!" She held onto him as if  
  
she would never let go.  
  
For you and you alone are, to me, life's very essence  
  
"So be it, then!" he said grimly, reaching for her hand. "Let them call me a  
  
traitor, but whatever comes of this madness, at least we are together! " he vowed. "I will  
  
make you happy, Yumi, I promise!"  
  
Now stay with me as you wish, as the past disappears and flies  
  
"Kurama..., aishiteru... I will follow you anywhere!" She  
  
hugged him and pressed her lips to his for an instant, before vaulting with him to the  
  
darkness below.  
  
After our voices have danced to night's haunting melody.  
  
Minutes after they disappeared, two cloaked figures came out of the  
  
darkness, unnoticed by the lovers who were too caught up in each other to care.  
  
"It is as we feared, Koenma-sama. She has gone off with him at last," one of  
  
them said.  
  
"Yes, she has," his companion replied quietly, throwing off his hood and  
  
staring into the darkness where the lovers had disappeared, his beautiful face  
  
devoid of any expression. His soft, hazel and gold eyes stared into the darkness  
  
dispassionately. "Thank you for taking me here, Captain Ginyu. I appreciate your help in  
  
this matter."  
  
"I'm very sorry, sire, but you had to witness this. As a servant of your father  
  
and as a man, I could not let you be deceived by your wife any longer."  
  
Koenma inclined his head briefly to say he understood. "Who else knows  
  
about this?"  
  
"Only the ferrygirl Ayame and two of my men, sire," the captain replied. "She  
  
was the one who alerted us about this. We would've captured Kurama, but she begged us  
  
not to, and to bring you here first, if you would order it, but you didn't..."  
  
"How long did you know about this?"  
  
"Uh, only a few days ago, sire, uh, when the ferrygirl asked me to have  
  
Kurama followed. He—uh, he met Hanayumi-hime by the snake road and he—uh, we  
  
heard enough to recognize what was going on. "  
  
"I see." The prince's tone was level and devoid of expression, making the old  
  
captain wonder if what the princess had said earlier was true. This made the old retainer  
  
more nervous. If he was in the prince's place...but then, he thanked the other gods that he  
  
wasn't.  
  
"...But will all due respect, Koenma-sama, I—maybe you really shouldn't  
  
have been allowed to see this. Ayame told us you should be here. We—we knew that this  
  
was coming, sire. I'm really very sorry."  
  
"I know. She was right. I had to witness this."  
  
"Yes, you had to," a voice interrupted suddenly, making them both start.  
  
"Hiei?" Koenma said, as a short demon with dark, fiery hair appeared  
  
suddenly behind them, accompanied by Ayame, the dark-haired ferrier of souls in his  
  
service.  
  
"How did you get here?" Captain Ginyu exclaimed, getting into a fighting stance.  
  
"It's all right, captain," Koenma said. "I hope you recognize Hiei, my former  
  
Tantei, and Ayame." He turned to the fire-demon. "You knew this before everybody else,  
  
didn't you?" he asked levelly.  
  
"Hn. You didn't love her," he replied flatly, eyes challenging him to deny it.  
  
Koenma didn't take the bait. Instead, he gazed at the fire-demon levelly and nodded his  
  
head.  
  
"Yes, I admit it. I didn't love her." His voice was flat and unemotional.  
  
Ayame bowed her head and motioned for the captain that they should move  
  
farther away from the prince and his friend. He dared not disobey.  
  
With slow, deliberate steps, Hiei stepped in front of the prince, then suddenly  
  
punched him in the face, sending him sprawling. The watching guards made a  
  
move to go to them, but Koenma waved them off. Straightening, he merely  
  
assumed his former pose and waited.  
  
"That's for your wife." Hiei finally said after a while. Shifting his gaze to the  
  
darkness, he added flatly, "She didn't deserve what you did."  
  
"I know." He paused, "she got one part wrong—I was not kind to her. I didn't,  
  
couldn't give her what she most wanted—a husband." He moved to the balcony and  
  
leaned both hands on the railing. "I couldn't even bring myself to touch her. Not ever."  
  
The laugh that came from his lips was mirthless and cold.  
  
Hiei nodded, his eyes still at the distance. Glancing at his one-time employer and  
  
friend (although he'd never admit it), he thought he had to admire the guy's control, and  
  
wonder, yet again, at his devotion. "Hn. At least you got that right. She doesn't deserve to  
  
be used that way. Nobody does."  
  
"Koenma nodded. "Yes." He lowered his voice." And do you know what's  
  
ironic? My father forced me into doing just that to one girl, and now, she's the only one I  
  
could ever touch now." He laughed again. "...To make me a suitable "man" for my  
  
future wife."  
  
Hiei's eyes widened. What in hell? He didn't know this! He prepared to strike  
  
another blow at the prince.  
  
"...Go right ahead, but I'm gonna hit back now. I don't regret what we did," he  
  
said firmly.  
  
"If you loved her that much, how come you married the other girl?" Hiei asked  
  
bluntly, shaking his head in confusion. "You could've saved yourself the trouble."  
  
Koenma gave an exasperated sigh. "Because I was too weak. My father  
  
threatened to kill her, and banish her to the worst places in hell. The humans, too, would  
  
not be spared. As for me, he would take away my will and my memories—with the help  
  
of the other gods—my uncles and aunts. He could and would have done that." Bitterness  
  
laced his voice. "  
  
"So what made you disobey him by having us search for her all these years, and  
  
keeping away from your wife?"  
  
"Power, my child, the answer is power." He gave a twisty half-smile. I came to  
  
my senses when they told me she was gone—right after the wedding, mind you. My  
  
wedding night was hell—mental torture, I mean. We were lying there still as boards  
  
while I was wondering what happened to her all that time. So I spent these last years  
  
making alliances with other rulers, and with other kamis. I now have more connections  
  
than my father has, and they would all be willing to support me in ousting my dear father  
  
if he makes a wrong move. Also, they all assured me to work on all possible damages to  
  
Ningenkai if my father gets that angry." He paused, and hung his head sadly. "I was  
  
stupid. If only I had done that years ago!" Hiei nodded. "Hn. You can be stupid at times,  
  
you know," he said, quite honestly not meaning it an insult. Good thing Koenma didn't  
  
mind.  
  
"Yeah, I know," he said. "Also-"he raised his left hand which Hiei saw had  
  
elaborate rings at each finger. A golden thread seemed to come from each ring as Hiei  
  
watched, seeming to all trace identical lines to the center of his palm. When the lines  
  
converged, five ghostlike spheres appeared, seeming to float above his hand. All gazed at  
  
it in wonder while Koenma continued, "I now have the orbs of the elements, some of the  
  
most fabled power sources of all times. I came by them when I asked Yuusuke to train  
  
me last year." His smile was twisty. "At least now I would have a fighting chance if  
  
father decides to stop me one of these days."  
  
"You still mean to find her?" Hiei asked. He found himself feeling a new respect  
  
for the prince, who seemed so cowardly before, but had the determination to stand by his  
  
love to the point of changing himself and his principles so radically. Maybe, he reflected,  
  
it was because he saw himself in this handsome, misunderstood prince, saw his  
  
determination to survive, find his mother, then his sister—and the pearls that connected  
  
them as surely as their blood. Because of his dead friend's knives, he was now stronger  
  
and getting more and more so; because of the heartbreak, the last vestiges of Enma's rule  
  
over his son had disappeared. Koenma was now a competent, powerful man capable of  
  
becoming a competent ruler, and not the whiny, frightened toddler of old.  
  
"Yes," he replied simply, looking to the distance, "Whatever it takes."  
  
"Hn. Will you get your wife back, too?"  
  
He shook his head. "No. She is happy with Kurama, which she can never be with  
  
me. She also didn't love me, and she was very tired of being the pawn in palace politics."  
  
He blew a sigh. "I'll miss her, though. She was a friend, and she understood."  
  
Hiei shook his head. "You pushed her to leaving. I don't know how, but you  
  
should at least keep her name clean, if only for the people in her lands."  
  
Koenma nodded approvingly, pleased that the young, rash (well, definitely  
  
younger than he was, anyway) and taciturn demon had thought up a good advice, proving  
  
at least that he was more than a bloody killer. "Yes. I've thought about it when I first  
  
suspected her." He winked, looking suddenly boyish. "If we could pull this off, not only  
  
will it save Hanayumi from shame, but it will also give me the excuse to go off with you  
  
and look for—"  
  
"—for her?" Hiei continued, nodding. Then he started suddenly. "But wait—you  
  
suspected something was up with the princess and Kurama?"  
  
Koenma shrugged. "You don't live with a person for three years without knowing  
  
something about her, you know."  
  
"Then all these--"he looked over at Ayame and the soldiers "—was  
  
unnecessary?"  
  
He shrugged. "no, not really. I only suspected—besides, how should I know that  
  
it was Kurama?" A frown crossed his features, and he lowered his voice to a whisper.  
  
"But why is Ayame here?"  
  
Hiei shrugged. "I guess she's one of the smartest people you have. She thought  
  
this up. I followed her along, to see what'd happen. Besides, you should really know  
  
about them before they leave, at least." He paused. "So, what about your plan?"  
  
"Well, the first thing we're going to do is swear the others not to tell. You'd come  
  
in handy there, I know." Hiei merely nodded, his hand going automatically to the hilt of  
  
his katana.  
  
"The next is that I'll send captain Ginyu and the others to give a letter to Kurama  
  
and Hanayumi, to tell them what will happen."  
  
"A letter?" Hiei's brows raised skeptically. Koenma nodded. "Just a letter. Just in  
  
case they get creative, you should probably send for some of Mukuru's demons to  
  
accompany them—just accompany them," he added sternly. He definitely didn't want the  
  
captain of the guard eaten by some powerful monster by mistake.  
  
"She'll ask for fees," he said bluntly.  
  
"Well, tell her I'll just send back those demons of hers who happen to cross over  
  
to the Ningenkai unharmed and unkilled." He grinned. "She'll enjoy punishing them  
  
herself, I know."  
  
He nodded. His present employer had been sitting around looking bored for a  
  
while now, so there was a good chance she would accept Koenma's offer. They  
  
continued talking for a while, then sent off the others after telling them the plan and  
  
telling them to keep it secret. Afterwards, Hiei looked at his taller companion and gave  
  
another of his rare smirks.  
  
"You plan well," he said. Koenma grinned. "Have to—comes with the job, you  
  
know," he said blandly. Hiei just "hn-ed" and went off without saying goodbye, probably  
  
to Meikai to talk to Mukuro. Koenma just stood there for a while, gazing up at the sky.  
  
Wait for me, please. At last, now I can find you, he thought.  
  
Wait for me, beloved...  
  
ai shite ru, my Botan....  
  
Destiny awaits...come...  
-??? 


End file.
